I watched vagina monologue today, then had an early supper at Marina, before going off to Sentosa to watch Jazz by the beach. The first two were the highlight of my day.

Anyway.

I've got the thought today, who are you claiming friends, when no one belongs to anyone?

I guess I'm still bugged. But I have made my stance. Especially after today. Things have changed and I have no keys or superpower to retain the moment where it was good. It is the expectations. I expected things to stay the same and it is the wrong decision from the root. Because expectations stay the same, but people and circumstances change. And I couldn't have learned a better lesson.

You know what is ridiculous? I changed, but I keep expecting the same thing. I treat people differently, my time has changed, circumstances changed, hence, how do I expect people to treat me the same way?

Nonsense.

A few days ago, I was catching up with one of my best buddies. We were talking and then I realized, I have grown out of our conversation. The same conversation could've happened a year ago and I would've been following it. But right now, my only question was, Do you read the paper?

There are people who will be there for you in a time where you need them, but the sentiment is there. Friends are friends forever, you can never lose them because they are not yours to claim in the first place. When you change, they change. Maybe to a different direction but the friendship is there and no one is asking anyone, or have the right to ask, to change to the same direction.

However, when the intimacy was only based on superficial circumstances and not genuine empathy, things will certainly go wrong.

I have learned that friendship, just like any other relationship, requires sacrifices. Like calling them up to hook up between hectic schedule or travel all the way to Sentosa to catch up within the last hour performance. It doesn't matter where, or when. It's the little stuff that show people matters, like, replying their SMS-es or e-mails. Small things that show you really, trully, find their companionship matters.

Here I am wondering why on earth do I care. I have a chance to kick this back but I care. Because people who I have hurt, or have hurt me, intentionally or unintentionally, recently, are my friends. They were there when the time was the hardest. People change, I see things differently now, but the friendship, the companionship, the past is there. But when the people stay the same, or go to a different direction, coversations will only dwell in our great past. The friendship will always be there, but there is no use in covering up empty seats. Now we are just different people going to different paths and talking different things. And now, more than ever, I should realize that life doesn't wait.

NB: NO ONE in specific. General thoughts triggered by failed attempt to reply smses and my unreplied attempt.

PSS: Some people are cursing about the dive of Australian Dollar. I'm cursing US Dollar. And hey, if you convert Australian Dollar and Singapore Dollar to Rupiah, Australian Dollar is cheaper than Singapore dollar. Buy your OZ dollar now if your future is there and invest wisely. A friend just cursed and swore (he's in the investment banking, hence he suffered deals - I mean the bonus - hehe...), but the predictions for better multi polar economic systems are floating around. You have to suffer the pain to gain, yes?

PSSS: Vagina Monologue wasn't too bad. It was amusing and entertaining. But I have seen some better scenes before. Plus the characters are too altered to fit into some archetypes. But I enjoyed it on the whole.

Labels: Daily life, theater

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