Have you ever had a feeling that you're not good enough? I have that feeling, constantly. I'd like to slap myself sometimes, telling myself that I'm actually doing something good.
I think I strive hard enough in my life, I take things less seriously, yet keeping my work at a balance. And social life comes in and I must give time to it as well. 24 hours a day is simply not enough. I would like to be sleepless. So I can have all the time in a day to finish it all.
I feel bad that I couldn't make it to Charlotte's celebration tonight. I'm happy for her! But the minute she called me, I feel bad already, because I know I wouldn't be able to make it. I'm just too tired and assignments are waiting to be done.
Sometimes I'd like to call up QQ and ask for his opinion, because you know, we live nearby and I always call him to offer cab ride, but recently, he grew distant for a reason unbeknown to me.
And it's weird, because they're hanging out with this guy, who occasionally slaps me with rude attitude and piercing words. How must I like him? Or treat him like friends, or even respect him as one? I mean, it's not that I'm trying to be better than everyone or anything, I just don't get people like that. Is that so weird? How do you get along with people who greets you with "Fuck you"? I mean. Double you tea elf?
I need time to resolve all this. But at the mean time, I just feel not good enough.
Even more, I'm not supposed to care, but I do.
And as a shitass managing editor, I grew weary, because things are unorganized and I can't be bother anymore, after all those judgments put on me. I mean, I'm just doing my job. If it turns out well, it's your credit. Why must I be judged for doing the job I'm forced to do? And I'm tired of listening to reasons and excuses, so don't give me any. Because I'll preach. And I'll be judged.
I need time. I don't have it. You know, I'm doing my best to keep my pace as a friend. I'm here at your disposal. I listen to your complaints and try my best to help you out. But I realize lately, that I can't please everyone.
Labels: Daily life
cakes
I think today's birthday cake is the last one for this year. Thank you guys, it caught me by surprise :)
So, i got one from husky, one from the girls, one from nom and one from the crazy guys at school. Thanks all :)...
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
So, i got one from husky, one from the girls, one from nom and one from the crazy guys at school. Thanks all :)
Labels: Daily life
Strawberry Shortcake
I am very, very, eternally grateful to my girls. They gave me a real desktop oven for my b.day present, and I bake my strawberry shortcake today! :D
Was a very tiring day, on the eve of my bday, there was a dinner and dance, and I was suffocated inside a chongsam that made me look like a ladyboy. Since the event was in orchard, any queer would guess so. Then went home and had a little party with the girls and celebrated with Husky's family. Nothing dramatic....
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Was a very tiring day, on the eve of my bday, there was a dinner and dance, and I was suffocated inside a chongsam that made me look like a ladyboy. Since the event was in orchard, any queer would guess so. Then went home and had a little party with the girls and celebrated with Husky's family. Nothing dramatic.
Labels: Daily life
I seriously seriously dislike
your reserved attitude, where you feel like you need to mask your flaws;
I don't want to lie on this mess....
I don't want to lie on this mess.
Labels: Daily life
Meme
From QQ
#1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
Dump him.
#2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
Hit 4D jackpot
#3. What will your dream wedding be like?
White wedding by the beach, less than 30 people.
#4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
Pretty much.
#5. What’s your ideal lover like?
Hardworker.
#6. Which is more blessed? Loving someone or being loved by someone?
Being loved by someone. I mean, I love loving people, but there are times when it gets tiring, so I think being loved is preferable.
#7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
I think... hm... 3 days.
#8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
Like some other person secretly.
#9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
ASSIGNMENTS AND THAT NEW ENGRISH LECTURER.
#10. Is being tagged fun?
Nope.
#11. How do you see yourself in 10 years time?
Happy
#12. Who are currently the most important people to you?
Husky, Mom, dad, bro, sis, friends.
#13. What kind of person do you think the one who tagged you is?
Endlessly amusing.
#14. Would you rather be rich and single or married but poor?
Rich and single.
#15. What’s the first thing you do every morning?
Pee
#16. Would you give all in a relationship?
No. One step at a time.
#17. If you fall in love with 2 people simultaneously, who would you pick?
The one who goes extra miles for everything.
#18. What type of friends do you like?
The ones who think I'm their friends and treat me like one.
#19. What type of friends do you dislike?
The one who doesn't shower and take me for granted.
#20. If you have to choose between love and friendship, what would it be?
Love. I think friendship is based on love. And I didn't start my love life from a friendship....
Sunday, August 17, 2008
by Radiohead
One of my favorite...
Saturday, August 16, 2008
#1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
Dump him.
#2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
Hit 4D jackpot
#3. What will your dream wedding be like?
White wedding by the beach, less than 30 people.
#4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
Pretty much.
#5. What’s your ideal lover like?
Hardworker.
#6. Which is more blessed? Loving someone or being loved by someone?
Being loved by someone. I mean, I love loving people, but there are times when it gets tiring, so I think being loved is preferable.
#7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
I think... hm... 3 days.
#8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
Like some other person secretly.
#9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
ASSIGNMENTS AND THAT NEW ENGRISH LECTURER.
#10. Is being tagged fun?
Nope.
#11. How do you see yourself in 10 years time?
Happy
#12. Who are currently the most important people to you?
Husky, Mom, dad, bro, sis, friends.
#13. What kind of person do you think the one who tagged you is?
Endlessly amusing.
#14. Would you rather be rich and single or married but poor?
Rich and single.
#15. What’s the first thing you do every morning?
Pee
#16. Would you give all in a relationship?
No. One step at a time.
#17. If you fall in love with 2 people simultaneously, who would you pick?
The one who goes extra miles for everything.
#18. What type of friends do you like?
The ones who think I'm their friends and treat me like one.
#19. What type of friends do you dislike?
The one who doesn't shower and take me for granted.
#20. If you have to choose between love and friendship, what would it be?
Love. I think friendship is based on love. And I didn't start my love life from a friendship.
Labels: Meme
Weird Fishes/ Arpeggi
by Radiohead
One of my favorite
Labels: Daily life
Happy National Day Indonesia!
Just paraded with Renee, singing '17 Agustus' with full patriotic gestures and LOUD enough for the person next door to hear.
MERDEKA!...
MERDEKA!
Labels: Daily life
Sigh with me
It was a bone sawing destructive kind of tiring yesterday. The guys don't really talk to me like I'm exist. You know, out of norm and politeness I guess. I was the outsider. So when they want to talk to me, they talk to Husky. Like I'm deaf and I don't understand the language. I suppose, I should understand that. But really, I just don't like the situation where I'm put as an outsider.
Then again, the ladies were judgmental. They don't even bother to look at me when I told them where I study. Cramping school. They were trying to be nice to me, but they have known each other for years and they ended up talking to each other.
What do I expect right? nothing! Nothing really. I just don't like the situation, but I'm not saying that I don't like them for creating the situation. I mean, they're practically blameless. I just don't like that specific situation.
His friend lowered the air con fan because his girlfriend was cold, yet it was blazing at me, and I was apparently shivering, and Husky was oblivious of this.
Husky told me we're gonna be back before nine. Then it was delayed and delayed and delayed, I reached home around 11.30.
And he could tell something was wrong, so in the car, he asked what's wrong. I didn't say anything. What, do you expect me to rant infront of your best buddy? I doubt so.
We didn't fight yesterday because I was beyond tired. I woke up at five AM yesterday. And I collapsed to bed after shower, immediately....
Friday, August 15, 2008
Then again, the ladies were judgmental. They don't even bother to look at me when I told them where I study. Cramping school. They were trying to be nice to me, but they have known each other for years and they ended up talking to each other.
What do I expect right? nothing! Nothing really. I just don't like the situation, but I'm not saying that I don't like them for creating the situation. I mean, they're practically blameless. I just don't like that specific situation.
His friend lowered the air con fan because his girlfriend was cold, yet it was blazing at me, and I was apparently shivering, and Husky was oblivious of this.
Husky told me we're gonna be back before nine. Then it was delayed and delayed and delayed, I reached home around 11.30.
And he could tell something was wrong, so in the car, he asked what's wrong. I didn't say anything. What, do you expect me to rant infront of your best buddy? I doubt so.
We didn't fight yesterday because I was beyond tired. I woke up at five AM yesterday. And I collapsed to bed after shower, immediately.
Labels: Daily life
Drama People
Some people I know could be enrolled in Tisch acting school on full merit scholarship. I find that life is a canvas, and I need to paint them colorful. A little drama is good. Too much is just a mess.
Sometimes I wonder, what's the use of friends, when you can't speak your mind to them. When you don't need their friendship. When you don't want their company? When you are not interested in what they have to say. When you don't want to be included in their lives? When you want to keep things to yourself?
Friends consolidate your beings. So, really, isn't it taking for granted when you only require friends to tell that you're exist, but you do nothing to help them to fill the requirements?
If you're that desperate to be alone, nothing stops you. Why are you still calling my name?...
Sometimes I wonder, what's the use of friends, when you can't speak your mind to them. When you don't need their friendship. When you don't want their company? When you are not interested in what they have to say. When you don't want to be included in their lives? When you want to keep things to yourself?
Friends consolidate your beings. So, really, isn't it taking for granted when you only require friends to tell that you're exist, but you do nothing to help them to fill the requirements?
If you're that desperate to be alone, nothing stops you. Why are you still calling my name?
Labels: Daily life
WAG
Husky asked me to go and watch his soccer match tomorrow.
I'm willing to, actually. If only I could kick some balls as well. But you see, as much as he caters to my ego, I must cater to his. He wants me to go there to watch HIS match and join the rest of the WAGS - wife and girlfriends - as his trophy. Very anti-feminist, yes.
I don't mind once in a while, really, since he seldom asks me for a favor.
That means I need to finish my essays by tonight and be pretty tomorrow morning....
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
I'm willing to, actually. If only I could kick some balls as well. But you see, as much as he caters to my ego, I must cater to his. He wants me to go there to watch HIS match and join the rest of the WAGS - wife and girlfriends - as his trophy. Very anti-feminist, yes.
I don't mind once in a while, really, since he seldom asks me for a favor.
That means I need to finish my essays by tonight and be pretty tomorrow morning.
Labels: Daily life
Headache
Why don't humankind invent the book: "Encyclopedia of Internet. Complete with regional policy and impact on pop culture. Self update every year."
I WOULD BUY ONE!
Yeah so my least favorite subject: Internet studies. You know, I found it idiotic, i mean, keep all the revolutionary changes in human communication systems aside, WHY! Do! They! Think! We! Must! Learn! About! The! Damned! History! And! Its! VAST! Impact! On! This! Society!!!!???
PLEASE. I mean, the whole purpose of my paper is one line: we have limited freedom due to the political and cultural value of the region in practice. Why must I prove that?
I'd rather research on the policy. And MIND YOU. It is VERY hard to find the right political science book in library. Especially regarding the nature of censorship.
Anyway! Superfun yesterday. Went down to east coast for bgirl birthday, and we have mighty fun until 2AM in the morning! I think it's been ages since I laughed that loud.
Point: I hate reading a book that's full of technical jargons that I don't understand. Like I have the time to google it!...
Monday, August 11, 2008
LOL. Good booze to calm the reds...
I found John Rzeznik is one of a few geniuses who live in this world. I like him from Disney's Treasure Planet....
I WOULD BUY ONE!
Yeah so my least favorite subject: Internet studies. You know, I found it idiotic, i mean, keep all the revolutionary changes in human communication systems aside, WHY! Do! They! Think! We! Must! Learn! About! The! Damned! History! And! Its! VAST! Impact! On! This! Society!!!!???
PLEASE. I mean, the whole purpose of my paper is one line: we have limited freedom due to the political and cultural value of the region in practice. Why must I prove that?
I'd rather research on the policy. And MIND YOU. It is VERY hard to find the right political science book in library. Especially regarding the nature of censorship.
Anyway! Superfun yesterday. Went down to east coast for bgirl birthday, and we have mighty fun until 2AM in the morning! I think it's been ages since I laughed that loud.
Point: I hate reading a book that's full of technical jargons that I don't understand. Like I have the time to google it!
Labels: Daily life
Whatthebuck
LOL. Good booze to calm the reds
Name
I found John Rzeznik is one of a few geniuses who live in this world. I like him from Disney's Treasure Planet.
Labels: music
The Hire
Screened these in class today. A series made by BMW "The Hire" as one of their marketing tool. Which I found very, very ingenious.
There are 8 Series and can be found on BMW USA's website....
Sunday, August 10, 2008
There are 8 Series and can be found on BMW USA's website.
Labels: movies
Peripatetic Axiom
Nihil est in intellectu quod non fuerit prius in sensu.
In doubt of the Existence, read up on Thomas Aquinas' Summa Theologica on Quinquae Viae: ex motu, ex causa, ex contingentia, ex gradu and ex fine.
Reading up on this work is a confirmation to my hypothesis....
In doubt of the Existence, read up on Thomas Aquinas' Summa Theologica on Quinquae Viae: ex motu, ex causa, ex contingentia, ex gradu and ex fine.
Reading up on this work is a confirmation to my hypothesis.
Labels: faith
Give me F.U.N
Friday. 080808
Anniversary. Dinner with Husky at 7. Went to this hotel he used to work at and I found so much more about him. If I hadn't known him, I'd get jealous when he said he befriended Russian prostitutes. The place was very nice and an addition to it, the dinner was completely complimentary from the manager whom he knows very well. Then walked around Robertson Walk and Mohammad Sultan Road.
Saturday. 090808
The search for the furthest pool ended at Lakeside. Played floats and slides and swam two laps Olympic size pool with Husky. Drat it rained. Then went home and watched NDP. Aide-de-camp to President Nathan was supercute! Watched The Exorcist at night and it was unbelievably disturbing.
Sunday. 100808
Run my usual route to East Coast pit C24 with QQ. BBQ. Played volleyball and Captainball. I didn't know what captainball before! Anyway, there were plenty of food and people and fun. QQ got injured, I think he sprained a part of his leg. However, still fun. Jogged back to Parkway, met Coboh.
She told me to pick my own b'day present at Borders, I was extremely happy. I got a:
and
Love you Coboh :X
I am very happy :D...
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Anniversary. Dinner with Husky at 7. Went to this hotel he used to work at and I found so much more about him. If I hadn't known him, I'd get jealous when he said he befriended Russian prostitutes. The place was very nice and an addition to it, the dinner was completely complimentary from the manager whom he knows very well. Then walked around Robertson Walk and Mohammad Sultan Road.
Saturday. 090808
The search for the furthest pool ended at Lakeside. Played floats and slides and swam two laps Olympic size pool with Husky. Drat it rained. Then went home and watched NDP. Aide-de-camp to President Nathan was supercute! Watched The Exorcist at night and it was unbelievably disturbing.
Sunday. 100808
Run my usual route to East Coast pit C24 with QQ. BBQ. Played volleyball and Captainball. I didn't know what captainball before! Anyway, there were plenty of food and people and fun. QQ got injured, I think he sprained a part of his leg. However, still fun. Jogged back to Parkway, met Coboh.
She told me to pick my own b'day present at Borders, I was extremely happy. I got a:
and
Love you Coboh :X
I am very happy :D
Labels: Daily life
Dear Baby,
He, has always, always been my favorite poet. Always. And this one, is my favorite. And I dedicate this to you.
I want you to know
one thing.
You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.
Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.
If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.
If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.
But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.
Happy Anniversary....
I want you to know
one thing.
You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.
Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.
If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.
If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.
But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.
If you Forget Me
translated from original "Si Tú Me Olvidas"
by Pablo Neruda
Happy Anniversary.
Labels: haiku and poems
Guiltless
After dinner with Ishouldntmentionnames and MM, with Jo, QQ, Dee and Jon; I went to Pan Pacific. Stepping in, I kind of miss Mom. As in, think about it, she's the coolest mom around. When she's bored, she'd book a room in Hilton, bring me along, have a nice dinner, and the manager would send her favorite truffle cake and we'd talk about life (like I have so much of it) and relationships. And have a girls' night.
Sometimes we'll continue with shopping in the morning, have tea and come home.
It's totally different when today I went into Pan Pacific as a student, living on a budget. Struggling with essays and future hanging. Pride myself for being pseudo-independent and a big burden at the same time. I miss the convenient life.
Maybe just because I'm broke.
Anyway, my allowance was raised. So, yeah. Worth the wait....
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Sometimes we'll continue with shopping in the morning, have tea and come home.
It's totally different when today I went into Pan Pacific as a student, living on a budget. Struggling with essays and future hanging. Pride myself for being pseudo-independent and a big burden at the same time. I miss the convenient life.
Maybe just because I'm broke.
Anyway, my allowance was raised. So, yeah. Worth the wait.
Labels: Daily life
Meme
From QQ: http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx
Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
- False!
The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?
Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.
What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.
Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.
Accurate!...
...
Monday, August 4, 2008
Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
- False!
The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?
Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.
What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.
Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.
Accurate!
Labels: Meme
GG trailer
Labels: movies
Oldboy
If I hadn't been a lifelong fan of Tim Burton, I'd do this...
...
Labels: movies
Guys
I love you all. Don't get me a DIY bra.
...
Baby dear, I'm gonna be soo broke...
My allowance will come in a few days. And already I knew what I want to do with them. ARGH.
1) I'll get a UMPC. People said that U1010 is a passe. So... Hm. Contemplating between EEEPC 901 or hpmini (which is very warm after awhile) - $800
2) Nike Shox Experience+ - $240
3) Epilator - $70
4) And just now, my BAD EYES wander to Harris and saw these PLENTY of stocks (minus Chomsky's H&S) that I WANT TO BUY BAAADDDDLLYY. I calculated everything, and it will eventually cost me around $120. Guys, if you really love me. Give me Harris or Borders voucher PLEASE!!!! You guys know that I'm a geek, what would be a better present that a bookstore's voucher, yes? ;)
5) My Make Up (Topping up and everything) - $180
WHY. WHY!...
Sunday, August 3, 2008
1) I'll get a UMPC. People said that U1010 is a passe. So... Hm. Contemplating between EEEPC 901 or hpmini (which is very warm after awhile) - $800
2) Nike Shox Experience+ - $240
3) Epilator - $70
4) And just now, my BAD EYES wander to Harris and saw these PLENTY of stocks (minus Chomsky's H&S) that I WANT TO BUY BAAADDDDLLYY. I calculated everything, and it will eventually cost me around $120. Guys, if you really love me. Give me Harris or Borders voucher PLEASE!!!! You guys know that I'm a geek, what would be a better present that a bookstore's voucher, yes? ;)
5) My Make Up (Topping up and everything) - $180
WHY. WHY!
Labels: Daily life
Still I Rise
You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.
Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.
Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.
Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.
Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.
Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?
Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.
- Maya Angelou...
Saturday, August 2, 2008
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.
Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.
Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.
Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.
Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.
Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?
Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.
- Maya Angelou
Labels: haiku and poems
My first b'day present
Apart from my lappie and my Onyx stone Earring Mom gave me for my 17th birthday, I have none other present that I held close to my heart. I've always wanted a complete atlas. As the one published by Times, or an encyclopedia of world's history. You know. I mean, some girls want to have bags and jewelry. But as for me, I thought those are the things I could by for myself. But for those books, not just they're impractical, they're also incredulously expensive. So I never bought any. I always envy my friends whose father or mother own a library in their house. And I get upset if my friends called their parents boring because their parents actually prefer books to TV. And I much prefer, honestly, honest honesty, a library than a diamond ring. (My secret obsession is to collect the complete twelve editions of Times Concise World Atlas. To compare their political, climate, forestry, population, etc per region each year).
Husky gave his very early birthday present for me. And it turned out, it was an encyclopedia of world history.
I almost cried because nobody has ever believed me if I said I wanted encyclopedias or atlas for my birthday present. Further more, I've been searching for that kind of book since I wanted to be an archaeologist (You KNOW that it went BACCCK then). And even if I found it in Borders or Kinokuniya, the price would simply be too steep. So I was really, REALLY, happy.
And just came back from 2008 FOP. And I am happy too. And I finally met Dex. I think he's just incredibly compatible with Nat! And after the FOP, Nat, Dex, me, Renee, D, Elaine, Clarice, W, Eugene, Nice and Brian went for Punggol. Then Nat starts to tell us about her sightings. As in ghost sightings. D was terrified since we supposedly live very near the infamous haunted the old deserted guillemard camp. Superfreakilyfunny. I'm not afraid of ghost by the way. I'm very afraid of horror movies though, I think majorly because of the ugly ghosts and the back bone chilling music......
Friday, August 1, 2008
This is one of the most powerful movies.
I guess, one of the most painful thing in the world, is when you're loved unconditionally. In torn between you wanted to be loved, yet you don't get the love from the person you expect to love you. You you know you're always loved, despite of what you do. And at the end, you wanted to hurt that person so bad, just because they love you the way you are. And it's frustrating. Because you're not perfect and you're changing. And you can't bear to see, if one day, that person who loves you departed from you, because they can't bear your changes. But life is a series of changes. Can you completely believe that there is a love that loves you unconditionally, despite of all your changes?...
Husky gave his very early birthday present for me. And it turned out, it was an encyclopedia of world history.
I almost cried because nobody has ever believed me if I said I wanted encyclopedias or atlas for my birthday present. Further more, I've been searching for that kind of book since I wanted to be an archaeologist (You KNOW that it went BACCCK then). And even if I found it in Borders or Kinokuniya, the price would simply be too steep. So I was really, REALLY, happy.
And just came back from 2008 FOP. And I am happy too. And I finally met Dex. I think he's just incredibly compatible with Nat! And after the FOP, Nat, Dex, me, Renee, D, Elaine, Clarice, W, Eugene, Nice and Brian went for Punggol. Then Nat starts to tell us about her sightings. As in ghost sightings. D was terrified since we supposedly live very near the infamous haunted the old deserted guillemard camp. Superfreakilyfunny. I'm not afraid of ghost by the way. I'm very afraid of horror movies though, I think majorly because of the ugly ghosts and the back bone chilling music...
Labels: Daily life
Thirteen
This is one of the most powerful movies.
I guess, one of the most painful thing in the world, is when you're loved unconditionally. In torn between you wanted to be loved, yet you don't get the love from the person you expect to love you. You you know you're always loved, despite of what you do. And at the end, you wanted to hurt that person so bad, just because they love you the way you are. And it's frustrating. Because you're not perfect and you're changing. And you can't bear to see, if one day, that person who loves you departed from you, because they can't bear your changes. But life is a series of changes. Can you completely believe that there is a love that loves you unconditionally, despite of all your changes?
Labels: movies