So yesterday was kind of an exception. D is an investment banker, he's a potential business partner. Inappropriately older to consider him anything other than that, he's at least 15 years older. But we had a great conversation. I mean, the kind of conversation that just flows. Thing I like is that he's so worldly. I've met many well traveled people, but yesterday was the first time I've met someone I could actually connect effortlessly. We were talking about so many things at once I didn't want to go home. He was also one of the better looking dutchmen. Really. I was really happy to have met him.
Waktu dulu
Aduh rindunya saya pada masa dulu. Saat hujan di Jakarta bikin bibir tersenyum. Saat novel Indonesia belum bikin bingung. Saat pulang kerumah dan keramik dingin. Saat saya masih punya waktu berjam-jam sehari untuk baca buku. Waktu untuk mandi satu jam. Saat hal yang paling mengkhawatirkan adalah bagaimana tokoh dalam khayalan mereka menghadapi masalah mereka. Bukannya saya tidak suka hidup hari ini, karena saya sama sukanya hidup hari ini dengan kenangan kemarin. Hanya saja sulit untuk tidak menerjemahkan setiap kalimat tulis dari bahasa lain. Yang membuat tersenyum hari ini bergantung pada orang lain. Hujan hari ini membuat saya cemberut. Saat kolam renang tidak lagi menenangkan. Saat mengadah, saya berharap melihat konstelasi yang pernah saya lihat di belahan dunia lain. Betapa anehnya begitu saya ke kantor dan yang saya pikirkan 'Home Sweet Home' dan tidak berkeberatan untuk tinggal sampai jam sepuluh. Bahkan pada malam minggu. Rasanya saya berubah. Entah menjadi lebih apa atau kurang apa. Hanya saja arti kebahagiaanpun berubah. Dan cita-cita tidak lagi berupa bayangan semata karena saya sudah ada berpijak di sana. Cita-cita saya kini menjadi daftar. Baru 21% penuh.
...
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Trade offs
So I'm quite serious about looking for a potential partner for my mother. She's a 24hour workaholic. She works even to her slumber. But the thing is, what about the criteria? I mean, from what I observed, she and her peers have completely different sets of standard for life partner. Is he useful? Is he a good investment? Will I be wasting my time? No longer the question is about whether this man will make me happy.
The standard is simple, no longer demanding. The twentys are looking for looks, money, good personality and whatnot. My mother looks at personality as a process so she has no judgement of it. As long as he is a good man. What constitutes 'good'? Well, the process will show. Is it settling down then? It's like religion. The animistic dynamism culture is rooted in our society. Polytheism is quite something. There are specialization of gods. So hypothetically speaking, I can ask myself, am I monotheist because I'm settling down for pragmatism or do I truly believe that monotheism works?
Anyway. Talking about trade offs, the last time I work I wasn't that willing to sell my soul for work. I think I'm doing it now. No longer I complain because my friends' FB are full of 'in' and hip pictures, cheery and young. I dress myself up everyday with working outfit that makes me at least 5 years older than I am. Oh well. Whatever. Good thing is I have the i dont give a shit attitude I learned when I was in Van. And I'm applying it now. So what if I don't have time to try out the new bar, I'm building up my future everyday. Yeah so what if all my batch are graduating this year? I'm the one who's working. Besides, I'm less interested in getting drunk nowadays. Well I'm trading that off for meeting Adrian Zecha. Amen.
Ah I truly believe that the best investment is in yourself. I mean, the other day a futures marketing offered an iphone and a laptop for an account but really, rather than an iphone or laptop I'd rather prettify myself and get me a flamenco lesson. I learned that one's biggest asset is one's own. No matter how rich a person is, without proper societal grooming and certain charm, his luck will falter. True story. Maybe his life is easier but success stories do not narrow to inheritance. I don't buy a moron can be a billionaire. It takes brain to manage treasure and a personality to double it. Does money buy happiness? Even a douche know it doesn't. But sure it's a challenge to get and if you can afford education with that, I think that's good enough....
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
The standard is simple, no longer demanding. The twentys are looking for looks, money, good personality and whatnot. My mother looks at personality as a process so she has no judgement of it. As long as he is a good man. What constitutes 'good'? Well, the process will show. Is it settling down then? It's like religion. The animistic dynamism culture is rooted in our society. Polytheism is quite something. There are specialization of gods. So hypothetically speaking, I can ask myself, am I monotheist because I'm settling down for pragmatism or do I truly believe that monotheism works?
Anyway. Talking about trade offs, the last time I work I wasn't that willing to sell my soul for work. I think I'm doing it now. No longer I complain because my friends' FB are full of 'in' and hip pictures, cheery and young. I dress myself up everyday with working outfit that makes me at least 5 years older than I am. Oh well. Whatever. Good thing is I have the i dont give a shit attitude I learned when I was in Van. And I'm applying it now. So what if I don't have time to try out the new bar, I'm building up my future everyday. Yeah so what if all my batch are graduating this year? I'm the one who's working. Besides, I'm less interested in getting drunk nowadays. Well I'm trading that off for meeting Adrian Zecha. Amen.
Ah I truly believe that the best investment is in yourself. I mean, the other day a futures marketing offered an iphone and a laptop for an account but really, rather than an iphone or laptop I'd rather prettify myself and get me a flamenco lesson. I learned that one's biggest asset is one's own. No matter how rich a person is, without proper societal grooming and certain charm, his luck will falter. True story. Maybe his life is easier but success stories do not narrow to inheritance. I don't buy a moron can be a billionaire. It takes brain to manage treasure and a personality to double it. Does money buy happiness? Even a douche know it doesn't. But sure it's a challenge to get and if you can afford education with that, I think that's good enough.
Stop
Who wants to be right as rain it's better when something is wrong.
You get excitement in your bones and everything you do is a game.
When night comes and your on your own you can say i chose to be alone.
Who wants to be right as rain it's harder when you're on top.
'cause when hard work don't pay off and i'm tired
There ain't no room in my bed as far as i'm concerned.
So wipe that dirty smile of we
Won't be making up i've cried my heart out
And now i've had enough of love.
Who wants to be riding high when you'll just crumble back on down.
You give up everything you are and even then you don't get far.
They make believe that everything is exactly what it seems.
But at least when you're at your worst you'll know how to feel things....
Monday, May 3, 2010
You get excitement in your bones and everything you do is a game.
When night comes and your on your own you can say i chose to be alone.
Who wants to be right as rain it's harder when you're on top.
'cause when hard work don't pay off and i'm tired
There ain't no room in my bed as far as i'm concerned.
So wipe that dirty smile of we
Won't be making up i've cried my heart out
And now i've had enough of love.
Who wants to be riding high when you'll just crumble back on down.
You give up everything you are and even then you don't get far.
They make believe that everything is exactly what it seems.
But at least when you're at your worst you'll know how to feel things.
Blondes
T - 3 Day
3 days before my flight. Tomorrow will be the last day of exam. Just had 2 garage sales. Still organizing stuff. Haven't packed yet. Sold most of my furniture. Going back home hadn't kicked in yet. Trying my best not to get pissed at the freakin teenager to changed mind last minute about getting my furniture. Very sleep deprived. Studied the whole day. Very stressed out.
T - 2 Day
Last day of exam. Thought did it quite well but mainly because it was the last day of everything. Studied in the morning. Haven't packed yet. Went home, dismantled my bed and everyother thing, waited for the guy to pick up. The guy picked it up, tipped me $10 for being an 'awesome seller'. Gave out most of the stuff. Partied like a rockstar. Drunk. Threw up. Escorted home by cops. Cursed cops and threw up in their car. Cursed some more. They handed me to my aunt. Thought my life was over. Slept soundly.
T -1 Day
Woke up and threw up 4 times. Pretty sure had grown phobia to alcoholic bevs. Cant think of Tequila without stomach jolts. Started Packing. Met S for lunch. Continued packing. Packed the whole day. Exhausted. Driven to airport. 17KGs overweight. Let some books go. Still 10 KGs overweight. Ready to pay $50 and give up. Was let go without paying. Couldn't believe my own luck. Carried 25kgs handcarry, lugged it and will lug it across 3 different airports.
T Day
12 hours flight. 8 hours of sleep, 4 hours of take off, eat, eat, eat like a heifer and drank milk, water and countless OJs. No coffee though. Slept like a satisfied baby. Landing. Transit and was thankful for trolley. Read a book through the whole thing, not that I had any choice. 6 hours of flight, caught The Blind Side and New York I love you. The latter sucked. Coming back home finally sunk in.
T + 1 Day
Landed 2PM at Jakarta. 4PM and was stationed at the office. Worked till 8PM. Passed out at 9PM on my way home. Woke up next morning jetlagged.
The whirlwind stopped today....
3 days before my flight. Tomorrow will be the last day of exam. Just had 2 garage sales. Still organizing stuff. Haven't packed yet. Sold most of my furniture. Going back home hadn't kicked in yet. Trying my best not to get pissed at the freakin teenager to changed mind last minute about getting my furniture. Very sleep deprived. Studied the whole day. Very stressed out.
T - 2 Day
Last day of exam. Thought did it quite well but mainly because it was the last day of everything. Studied in the morning. Haven't packed yet. Went home, dismantled my bed and everyother thing, waited for the guy to pick up. The guy picked it up, tipped me $10 for being an 'awesome seller'. Gave out most of the stuff. Partied like a rockstar. Drunk. Threw up. Escorted home by cops. Cursed cops and threw up in their car. Cursed some more. They handed me to my aunt. Thought my life was over. Slept soundly.
T -1 Day
Woke up and threw up 4 times. Pretty sure had grown phobia to alcoholic bevs. Cant think of Tequila without stomach jolts. Started Packing. Met S for lunch. Continued packing. Packed the whole day. Exhausted. Driven to airport. 17KGs overweight. Let some books go. Still 10 KGs overweight. Ready to pay $50 and give up. Was let go without paying. Couldn't believe my own luck. Carried 25kgs handcarry, lugged it and will lug it across 3 different airports.
T Day
12 hours flight. 8 hours of sleep, 4 hours of take off, eat, eat, eat like a heifer and drank milk, water and countless OJs. No coffee though. Slept like a satisfied baby. Landing. Transit and was thankful for trolley. Read a book through the whole thing, not that I had any choice. 6 hours of flight, caught The Blind Side and New York I love you. The latter sucked. Coming back home finally sunk in.
T + 1 Day
Landed 2PM at Jakarta. 4PM and was stationed at the office. Worked till 8PM. Passed out at 9PM on my way home. Woke up next morning jetlagged.
The whirlwind stopped today.