I've been watching so many things lately, that make my heart aches with that dull ache. The silent thud that has similar effect to nails on glass. I've been reading a lot of things that kept my brain worked out about our whole existence. But not so much of what you think of. If I compare our existence today to the past hundred year, it's a huge change. Yeah ofcourse!, you'd say so. Not so much. Because the previous hundreds before our last century was pretty monotone. If you think of how things has sped up over the last half century, it's pretty scary. I miss several things I've never had. Hey I enjoy life nowadays. I can't complain, Mac is an awesome machine. But why today I am defined by what I owned instead of who I am?
Isn't there is something very sickly about this whole existence?
When someone admits that they don't have a cellphone, or a computer thesedays, your head goes - *chuckle* what's wrong with you, dude?
Everytime I think of how loud we are, but how muted our voice really are, and how superficial and hollow relationships around. The perfume that oozes out of their fake breasts just to impress insecure cocks with plastic cards. Good Lord save me. Of course, nothing is wrong with that. You hurt so much, you got hurt over and over and over again until you put on the plastic heart and feel nothing. That's what L just told me. And it scared me to hell.
I wanna feel, really feel and not living a compromise. It started off with my relationship matter. Of waiting, and wanting. And tempted, like humans. But with a blink of an eye, I could lose the single, most sincere experience in the world. I want not to spoil love. I want to give it, unintentionally. What do you have against receiving it? Are you blinded by those sets of standard they demanded from you? That you have to lie, to survive? Why do you hurt people who love you? Why do you run away from the truth? Please stop hurting. Please stop hurting people. Please stop hurting.
Tongue Tied
Bright cold silver moon
Tonight alone in my room
You were here just yesterday
Slight turn of the head
Eyes down when you said
I guess I need my life to change
Seems like something's just aren't the same
What could I say?
I stare up at the stars
I wonder just where you are
You feel a million miles away
(I wonder just where you are)
Was it something I said?
Or something I never did?
Or was I always in the way?
(Was it something I did?)
Could someone tell me what to say to just make you stay?
I need a little more luck than a little bit
Cuz every time I get stuck the words won't fit
And every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by
I need a little more help than a little bit
Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet
Cuz every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by this time
I know it feels like the end
Don't want to be here again
And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again
What it takes I don't care
We're gonna make it I swear
And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again
Again
Beautiful Mess
Enuf.
Geez. Just as I'm panicking because of my paper, my bloody monthly friend decided to kick in with a royal pain. On top of that, I've been having nightmares and insomnia.
I'm as messed up as this clip:
...
Monday, June 15, 2009
I'm as messed up as this clip:
What's that between your legs?
There was a 20-something year old boy who sat on a reserved for elderly and pregnant women seat in a 5pm packed bus; who did not stand up nor offer a 70-something year old woman his seat whilst the rest of the reserved seat are occupied by either elderly people or pregnant women. No, he hadn't his earphone on. No, he's not blind (confirmed after he stared back at me after I glared at his incredulous act). No, he's not sleeping either. Later when he stood up and got out the bus, it's clearly shown that his legs are neither deformed nor malfunctioning.
So wtf was his problem?!!! Blooodddyyy hewwwlll!! No use that he's wearing a smart shirt, good looking and polish his shoes everymorning (generalization) if his manner is hidden somewhere between his armpit or his buttcrack. Bodoh. So called civilized my ass....
So wtf was his problem?!!! Blooodddyyy hewwwlll!! No use that he's wearing a smart shirt, good looking and polish his shoes everymorning (generalization) if his manner is hidden somewhere between his armpit or his buttcrack. Bodoh. So called civilized my ass.
Casual acquaintances
Hello my dear friends, I'm pretty elated this morning.
Why, you ask?
Oh, because my research paper has to be submitted Thursday and it's already monday and I haven't even figured out the thesis yet.
And
I won a camera on eBay for 0.99 dollar!!!
And
I GOT ACCEPTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!...
Friday, June 12, 2009
Why, you ask?
Oh, because my research paper has to be submitted Thursday and it's already monday and I haven't even figured out the thesis yet.
And
I won a camera on eBay for 0.99 dollar!!!
And
I GOT ACCEPTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!
Zee Avi
I love her! Good that she finally has a record deal!
Her Youtube home: http://www.youtube.com/user/KokoKaina...
Her Youtube home: http://www.youtube.com/user/KokoKaina
Collegecooking101
Being away from parents mean being away from decent homemade dish. It doesn't help with the student budget that doesn't really approve of you eating delicatessen everyday. Some choose to live with McDonalds. But there are a few tricks to eat good that doesn't break the wallet and they are I-don't-cook-associations approved.
Groceries:
When buying groceries, make sure to invest your money wisely. They might not be the healthiest choice, but they sure come handy.
1. Always invest in bottled seasonings
Chances are, you're cooking for yourself. When you buy fresh herbs - despite being more affordable - you will waste a whole bunch of it. Opt for McCormick's crushed chili to fresh ladyfingers. As well as thyme, oregano, chives, rosemary, dill, etc. You might think that you won't need these herbs. But they come handy in spicing up your dish. Slab chicken seasonings with chicken breasts and stir fry. Or make Aglio Olio with pasta and dried garlic. Easy!
2. Durability comes first
If you don't cook everyday, choose frozen meat to fresh meat. Buy fruits that last for ages like oranges, apples and pears. But don't buy frozen seafood. They don't last that long and nothing taste worst than bad seafood. If you want to cook fish, buy in a quantity that you can finish in a meal, and cook them right away.
3. Buy easy to cook Dish
When you buy a dish, think of ways to cook it. Pastas, chicken, white mushroom, brocollis, asparagus, cod fish, potato, sausages, onions, cheddar cheese are very versatile. You can at least think of three ways to cook them: fry, steam or bake. But eggs should always be a staple to your groceries shopping. Not only that it's very versatile, it's highly nutritious too.
4. Mayo, Butter, Milk, Cheese and Olive Oil
They're pricey because you want to make sure to buy the better ones. But a little goes a long way.
5. Sauce!
Chili sauce, Alfredo sauce, Blackpepper sauce, Curry Mango sauce, Oyster sauce, BBQ sauce, Salad sauce... These sauces are lifesavers! They're easy to cook - although you don't want to cook them everyday otherwise you'll be bored. And the best thing is, you can cook them with almost everything. Invest in it.
6. Supermarket card memberships
It sounds very auntie. But when they have a special price discount especially for members, don't you want to save some penny for the latest iPod? Although we don't like to be associated with everything Auntie, market-ing is a part of college lives. It's even more important than clothing or coffee. Just the card. We're college students, not housewives/husbands - let the coupon clippings to those who do these stuffs. Imagine: your wallet dropped and the content spill. Having a supermarket card makes you look more responsible. Coupons? Fun, yes.. (imagine an all-you-can-eat off the sushi belt) but supermarket coupons? Not so much.
So, what are the things that you don't want to waste your money on?
1. Canned soups - I'm a fan of mushroom soup, but one can is good for two or more people. You don't really want to waste them. It doesn't taste as good if you keep the other half. Furthermore, in my case, I'm not a fan of eating the same soup consecutively in my meals. And cooking them is quite a hassle. You gotta stir all the time.
2. Cooking Books - they're too complicated and our brains are reserved pretty much for the next exam. Plus, internet is always there!
3. Mac & Cheese - Despite the hype, I found them too much of a hassle to cook. And washing the pot after cooking gives me chills. Nothing pasta and pasta sauce cannot do.
Good, Simple Recipes that your little sister can follow:
1. Broccoli and Shrimp.
Buy frozen shrimp, thaw or run them under water with a strainer for 3 minutes.
Break the broccoli into bite size (no knife needed. Sans knife and cutting board to wash).
Mix them with butter (cold butter are perfectly fine) and dried garlic on a microwave safe bowl/plate. Cover with microwave cover or plastic wrap to keep the moisture.
Pop them into microwave for 1 minute and 45 seconds.
2. Baked Potatoes
Cut potatoes into small chunks. Sprinkle with olive oil, garlic and chives.
Mix them on a microwave safe bowl/plate. Cover.
Pop them to microwave for 2-5 minutes, depending on the size of the chunk. The bigger it is, the longer you should bake it.
When it's done, cover them with a single layer of cheddar cheese.
3. Easy Salmon
The easiest recipe ever. Must be FRESH salmon - not pre-frozen, kept in room temperature/ chilled. Buy in a quantity that you can finish in one meal. If it's not fresh, it will have a fishy smell.
Clean the salmon by running it under the tap.
Season it well with oregano, salt and pepper. Be generous with the seasonings.
Put it in a grill for 5-7 minutes.
See... my recipes doesn't require fire, knife or tedious wok actions. There are more complicated recipes that sometimes I do when I have time. These recipes are sooooo easy. They prevent me from snacking chips and buying frozen food. The good thing? They're nutritious and contains no MSG!...
Groceries:
When buying groceries, make sure to invest your money wisely. They might not be the healthiest choice, but they sure come handy.
1. Always invest in bottled seasonings
Chances are, you're cooking for yourself. When you buy fresh herbs - despite being more affordable - you will waste a whole bunch of it. Opt for McCormick's crushed chili to fresh ladyfingers. As well as thyme, oregano, chives, rosemary, dill, etc. You might think that you won't need these herbs. But they come handy in spicing up your dish. Slab chicken seasonings with chicken breasts and stir fry. Or make Aglio Olio with pasta and dried garlic. Easy!
2. Durability comes first
If you don't cook everyday, choose frozen meat to fresh meat. Buy fruits that last for ages like oranges, apples and pears. But don't buy frozen seafood. They don't last that long and nothing taste worst than bad seafood. If you want to cook fish, buy in a quantity that you can finish in a meal, and cook them right away.3. Buy easy to cook Dish
When you buy a dish, think of ways to cook it. Pastas, chicken, white mushroom, brocollis, asparagus, cod fish, potato, sausages, onions, cheddar cheese are very versatile. You can at least think of three ways to cook them: fry, steam or bake. But eggs should always be a staple to your groceries shopping. Not only that it's very versatile, it's highly nutritious too.
4. Mayo, Butter, Milk, Cheese and Olive Oil
They're pricey because you want to make sure to buy the better ones. But a little goes a long way.
5. Sauce!
Chili sauce, Alfredo sauce, Blackpepper sauce, Curry Mango sauce, Oyster sauce, BBQ sauce, Salad sauce... These sauces are lifesavers! They're easy to cook - although you don't want to cook them everyday otherwise you'll be bored. And the best thing is, you can cook them with almost everything. Invest in it.6. Supermarket card memberships
It sounds very auntie. But when they have a special price discount especially for members, don't you want to save some penny for the latest iPod? Although we don't like to be associated with everything Auntie, market-ing is a part of college lives. It's even more important than clothing or coffee. Just the card. We're college students, not housewives/husbands - let the coupon clippings to those who do these stuffs. Imagine: your wallet dropped and the content spill. Having a supermarket card makes you look more responsible. Coupons? Fun, yes.. (imagine an all-you-can-eat off the sushi belt) but supermarket coupons? Not so much.
So, what are the things that you don't want to waste your money on?
1. Canned soups - I'm a fan of mushroom soup, but one can is good for two or more people. You don't really want to waste them. It doesn't taste as good if you keep the other half. Furthermore, in my case, I'm not a fan of eating the same soup consecutively in my meals. And cooking them is quite a hassle. You gotta stir all the time.
2. Cooking Books - they're too complicated and our brains are reserved pretty much for the next exam. Plus, internet is always there!
3. Mac & Cheese - Despite the hype, I found them too much of a hassle to cook. And washing the pot after cooking gives me chills. Nothing pasta and pasta sauce cannot do.
Good, Simple Recipes that your little sister can follow:
1. Broccoli and Shrimp.
Buy frozen shrimp, thaw or run them under water with a strainer for 3 minutes.
Break the broccoli into bite size (no knife needed. Sans knife and cutting board to wash).
Mix them with butter (cold butter are perfectly fine) and dried garlic on a microwave safe bowl/plate. Cover with microwave cover or plastic wrap to keep the moisture.
Pop them into microwave for 1 minute and 45 seconds.
2. Baked Potatoes
Cut potatoes into small chunks. Sprinkle with olive oil, garlic and chives.
Mix them on a microwave safe bowl/plate. Cover.
Pop them to microwave for 2-5 minutes, depending on the size of the chunk. The bigger it is, the longer you should bake it.
When it's done, cover them with a single layer of cheddar cheese.
3. Easy Salmon
The easiest recipe ever. Must be FRESH salmon - not pre-frozen, kept in room temperature/ chilled. Buy in a quantity that you can finish in one meal. If it's not fresh, it will have a fishy smell.
Clean the salmon by running it under the tap.
Season it well with oregano, salt and pepper. Be generous with the seasonings.
Put it in a grill for 5-7 minutes.
See... my recipes doesn't require fire, knife or tedious wok actions. There are more complicated recipes that sometimes I do when I have time. These recipes are sooooo easy. They prevent me from snacking chips and buying frozen food. The good thing? They're nutritious and contains no MSG!
ego
Thank you for opening up. It made me really, really, really happy.
...
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
i might need help on this... i dun know on wat or how i shld do it...
Dolor
Aiyoh... midterms... and the weather is so nice to frolick in the water... Hell we're even supposed to make totem poles and buy olympic stuff. I thought buying Canucks things for a day is a nuisance enough. Lets not counting the making of nanaimo bars.
Can I please please work by the beach??? And WATERFIGHT! But. Finals!...
Monday, June 8, 2009
Can I please please work by the beach??? And WATERFIGHT! But. Finals!
HOME
If I hadn't emailed you... Please watch this movie.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqxENMKaeCU
It's available on Youtube until June 15. I thank Coboh for sending me the link.
Previously, I have been tossing and turning, bouncing back and forth in doing my part for the world. But this movie really moved me. I know as an individual, apart from signing endless petitions to Mr. Steven Harper, I can do my part as a responsible consumer.
I cannot say that I have been fully responsible for my actions. Yes I have been using non-animal-testing products. I have also been using the recyclable shopping bag. But I still wish to have a car. But after today, a car is not so important anymore. I guess I can do my part to be Part of the Plan. I know that I can't stop consuming. It's impossible. But maybe, until hybrid cars are really energy saving, I can wait.
Meanwhile, if you are as moved as me, spread out the film. Please forward it to your friends, family, colleagues, bosses, etc....
Sunday, June 7, 2009
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqxENMKaeCU
It's available on Youtube until June 15. I thank Coboh for sending me the link.
Previously, I have been tossing and turning, bouncing back and forth in doing my part for the world. But this movie really moved me. I know as an individual, apart from signing endless petitions to Mr. Steven Harper, I can do my part as a responsible consumer.
I cannot say that I have been fully responsible for my actions. Yes I have been using non-animal-testing products. I have also been using the recyclable shopping bag. But I still wish to have a car. But after today, a car is not so important anymore. I guess I can do my part to be Part of the Plan. I know that I can't stop consuming. It's impossible. But maybe, until hybrid cars are really energy saving, I can wait.
Meanwhile, if you are as moved as me, spread out the film. Please forward it to your friends, family, colleagues, bosses, etc.
Between the devil and the deep blue sea
I had the most uncanny day.
This morning I woke up to nothing but the Bridal March. Yes, immediately my mind screamed: WHAT THE EFFF. It's my odd housemate's cup of tea, apparently - it was inside one of those compilation CDs. I don't have anything against it, really. It bothers me when someone bought it just to show. It really was kind of awful to recognize the 'Name' without understanding who they really are. Call me a snob, but come on. If you have created something, won't you want the people acknowledge who you are instead of just recognizing your name for the sake of recognizing famous names? She didn't even know if that's a Bridal March. I am so angry of her stubbornness these days that I chose to stay far, far away from her.
Anyway, as the day progressed, I had a very satisfying chat with Husky. We fought, but we made up. And I'm really happy that we made up. Frankly, I cannot imagine not speaking to him for a few days if I chose to give him silent treatment. Sometimes, I take for granted when he tolerates me. I forget that I'm not a very easy person to be with. Let alone to understand. I've driven some people crazy just to understand the mean behind my actions. And thankfully, Husky is very patient. I sometimes think of us like a pair of jigsaw puzzle. We fit. But again, the heart knows the truth, while the mind seeks for survival.
And then I went to meet KK. As usual we went to The Coffeehouse and study. We met John Cusack! He's surprisingly tall!
The primary reasons we went to The Coffeehouse is because a) it's near KK's house and b) to meet Wednesdayman.
Wednesdayman is the adorably cute barrista who previously had a shift on Wednesday evening. But we never see him again! So as today, there was no Wednesdayman. But there was a Macboy.
The Macboy sat just right behind us. And he's the one who reassured me that it was John Cusack. Because KK spotted him first and I didn't believe it at first because he was tall! But Macboy confirmed.
Then there was the creepy man.
The Creepy Man has met us previously in The Coffeehouse. He stares at us. Previously, he stared at us, but we sat so far away that KK and I didn't bother. But today, he sat RIGHT BESIDE us. At first we couldn't be bothered. BUt then the Creepy Man started to bother us when he went to the toilet right after each of us went to the toilet. We then were creeped out. And when we started to write things to each other, the Creepy Man leaned over to look. We were too scared (and too much of a coward) to ask him point blank.
Apparently Macboy has been paying attention to us too! That after Creepyman left, we actually started talking about him. And Muscleman joined our conversation about it.
Oh well. It amazes me how everytime I spent my day with KK there will always be an event, or a new discovery. I hope the charm will never wear out.
PS: I soooo wanna move from this depressing hellhole....
Saturday, June 6, 2009
This morning I woke up to nothing but the Bridal March. Yes, immediately my mind screamed: WHAT THE EFFF. It's my odd housemate's cup of tea, apparently - it was inside one of those compilation CDs. I don't have anything against it, really. It bothers me when someone bought it just to show. It really was kind of awful to recognize the 'Name' without understanding who they really are. Call me a snob, but come on. If you have created something, won't you want the people acknowledge who you are instead of just recognizing your name for the sake of recognizing famous names? She didn't even know if that's a Bridal March. I am so angry of her stubbornness these days that I chose to stay far, far away from her.
Anyway, as the day progressed, I had a very satisfying chat with Husky. We fought, but we made up. And I'm really happy that we made up. Frankly, I cannot imagine not speaking to him for a few days if I chose to give him silent treatment. Sometimes, I take for granted when he tolerates me. I forget that I'm not a very easy person to be with. Let alone to understand. I've driven some people crazy just to understand the mean behind my actions. And thankfully, Husky is very patient. I sometimes think of us like a pair of jigsaw puzzle. We fit. But again, the heart knows the truth, while the mind seeks for survival.
And then I went to meet KK. As usual we went to The Coffeehouse and study. We met John Cusack! He's surprisingly tall!
The primary reasons we went to The Coffeehouse is because a) it's near KK's house and b) to meet Wednesdayman.
Wednesdayman is the adorably cute barrista who previously had a shift on Wednesday evening. But we never see him again! So as today, there was no Wednesdayman. But there was a Macboy.
The Macboy sat just right behind us. And he's the one who reassured me that it was John Cusack. Because KK spotted him first and I didn't believe it at first because he was tall! But Macboy confirmed.
Then there was the creepy man.
The Creepy Man has met us previously in The Coffeehouse. He stares at us. Previously, he stared at us, but we sat so far away that KK and I didn't bother. But today, he sat RIGHT BESIDE us. At first we couldn't be bothered. BUt then the Creepy Man started to bother us when he went to the toilet right after each of us went to the toilet. We then were creeped out. And when we started to write things to each other, the Creepy Man leaned over to look. We were too scared (and too much of a coward) to ask him point blank.
Apparently Macboy has been paying attention to us too! That after Creepyman left, we actually started talking about him. And Muscleman joined our conversation about it.
Oh well. It amazes me how everytime I spent my day with KK there will always be an event, or a new discovery. I hope the charm will never wear out.
PS: I soooo wanna move from this depressing hellhole.
The Climb
Ok. Same case with Taylor Swift. I dislike Miley Cyrus. Come on. I mean. Ew. Ew. I can't even begin to describe how much I don't like her. But I like Hannah Montana series. It's hilarious! Just like how I like Totally Spies, Suite life of Zack and Cody, Kimpossible, you get the idea (I had to sneak from Husky when I watch those series). I'm a disney girl.
Anyway, I like her song: The Climb. HER VOICE SUCKS I TELL YOU. Flat on couple of notes. But I like the song!
...
Friday, June 5, 2009
Anyway, I like her song: The Climb. HER VOICE SUCKS I TELL YOU. Flat on couple of notes. But I like the song!
Jason Mraz on Cosmo
He confesses and I'm smitten.
10 Things guys wish you knew.
by: Jason Mraz
Hometown: Mechanicsville (what?), Virginia
Age: 32
Current gig: Touring to promote his album We sing. We Dance. We Steal Things.
Romantic Status: Single
1. You look sexy when you're puffy from lying on the pillow all night.
2. We don't understand your addiction to celebrity gossip. Whatever you do, don't talk about it on a date.
3. Guys get a monthly type of PMS too. We get moody and need our space.
4. It's the hottest thing when you say, "Are you going to kiss me now?"
5. We read and reread your texts and emails.
6. It's annoying when a girl continues to ask, "what's really on your mind?" Eventually, the answer is going to be "You asking stupid questions is what's on my mind."
7. A lot of us are insecure about our bodies. Women look like beautiful, soft, gorgeous angels when they're naked. We look like hairy ogres or little scrawny trolls.
8. It's cool when a girl isn't weird about food. I love a woman who will eat something slimy.
9. Never tell a guy he's just like your father. It creeps us out.
10. Put on a man's dress shirt and nothing else. We'll be able to unbutton it no problem, and it shows off your legs in a`wonderful way......
Monday, June 1, 2009
10 Things guys wish you knew.
by: Jason Mraz
Hometown: Mechanicsville (what?), Virginia
Age: 32
Current gig: Touring to promote his album We sing. We Dance. We Steal Things.
Romantic Status: Single
1. You look sexy when you're puffy from lying on the pillow all night.
2. We don't understand your addiction to celebrity gossip. Whatever you do, don't talk about it on a date.
3. Guys get a monthly type of PMS too. We get moody and need our space.
4. It's the hottest thing when you say, "Are you going to kiss me now?"
5. We read and reread your texts and emails.
6. It's annoying when a girl continues to ask, "what's really on your mind?" Eventually, the answer is going to be "You asking stupid questions is what's on my mind."
7. A lot of us are insecure about our bodies. Women look like beautiful, soft, gorgeous angels when they're naked. We look like hairy ogres or little scrawny trolls.
8. It's cool when a girl isn't weird about food. I love a woman who will eat something slimy.
9. Never tell a guy he's just like your father. It creeps us out.
10. Put on a man's dress shirt and nothing else. We'll be able to unbutton it no problem, and it shows off your legs in a`wonderful way...
If there's a rocket tie me to it (snowpatrol)
Future kids, I warn you, unfulfilled prophecies hurt. So as broken promises.
On the new issue of British GQ, Megan Fox is comparing between actors/ess with prostitutes and a lot of people commented how dumb she is. She is quite dumb for saying that, but it's irrelevant to the content of the comment. Instead, merely because she is an actress her self (or an aspiring one!), she is a prostitute too? (Hey modus ponnens support this, no flaw in logic). Anyways. I'm maybe biased.
On the other side, I think acting is quite different from prostituting. On the epidermis level, acting requires a versatile and plieable personality. Prostituting is a part of acting. But acting as a whole is much larger than prostituting. Just because I'm a celluloid, I'm pretty much sure that my comment is valid.
That asides. Sometimes I want that versatile personality. How to act on a daily basis. Not just pretending that wear your emotions. But to act and split my personality. Beyonce inspires me, she can come up with this Sasha Fierce. On the other side of the CD, she's B: vulnerable, ballad-y melody. But Fierce!
Why am I talking on random? There are a lot of things bugging me lately. There are a few people that I can't get over. People like 'Fireplace', who pretends to be civilized with me - but I loathe her. And yes, that's a strong word. That's how I feel. I wish I could be like her, pretending that I can be civilized with her but I can't. There's 'T', who keeps on pretending to keep contact with me, and promises bunch of stuffs - to chat up, catch up, whatever you name it. But I never hear a word from it. There's 'C'. I wanna scream at her and say, Hey, I'm here, I'm your friend. How do you value me? Tell me what's wrong, rather than being sick and rotten in one lone self. There's of course my mother, who has promised me eons of age ago a lot of stuffs, but all of them went down the chute. There are of course, Husky. If I'm allowed to be cliche: love hurts. These things depressed me on my personal level. But I can always harness myself with optimism. It drains me everyday, but when I wake up, I drink a lot of coffee - I should be fine.
But the true sadness is with 'L', who has a life but don't know how to live it. Who has all this money and power but still is sad. Who has a Jaguar to drive, but scared to scratch it. Who has two laptops but afraid to pen her feelings because she's too insecure. Who has an apartment by herself but too afraid to ruin her funiture. Who has a lot of social gatherings, but no friends. Who has a daughter, but clueless how to be a mother. She lives next door, what should I do?
I want to run away. This is just too sad. Lately, my happiest day is when I'm under the sun, exploring the city without feeling lethargic.
I'm in love with Vancouver. Every time I pass Granville Bridge, I can't help but hold my breath. I wonder, far behind the cities, those majestic mountains, where rivers begin, those white clouds and snow capped place: there must be a whole other world. Places untouched by human hands. Where trolls and fairies live. Gollum, or maybe a gate to the middle kingdom.
I don't know how many times I said this: I don't want to grow up. I'm afraid of adulthood. It's too depressing. Not just responsibilities, but to open my eyes to the world, and see dreams failed. It requires a truckload of strength to be able to grow up as a good, solid human. Say maybe I'm in the intensive training. Last year, I remember MK said, this year is going to be a no-bollocks year. Harsh. I don't want to grow up! I'm in a marriage to life, like most people are. I accepted who I am, but I'm still getting to know my new life. Maybe that's my problem.
Let me get ready, my running shoes are wearing off. I need to get out....
On the new issue of British GQ, Megan Fox is comparing between actors/ess with prostitutes and a lot of people commented how dumb she is. She is quite dumb for saying that, but it's irrelevant to the content of the comment. Instead, merely because she is an actress her self (or an aspiring one!), she is a prostitute too? (Hey modus ponnens support this, no flaw in logic). Anyways. I'm maybe biased.
On the other side, I think acting is quite different from prostituting. On the epidermis level, acting requires a versatile and plieable personality. Prostituting is a part of acting. But acting as a whole is much larger than prostituting. Just because I'm a celluloid, I'm pretty much sure that my comment is valid.
That asides. Sometimes I want that versatile personality. How to act on a daily basis. Not just pretending that wear your emotions. But to act and split my personality. Beyonce inspires me, she can come up with this Sasha Fierce. On the other side of the CD, she's B: vulnerable, ballad-y melody. But Fierce!
Why am I talking on random? There are a lot of things bugging me lately. There are a few people that I can't get over. People like 'Fireplace', who pretends to be civilized with me - but I loathe her. And yes, that's a strong word. That's how I feel. I wish I could be like her, pretending that I can be civilized with her but I can't. There's 'T', who keeps on pretending to keep contact with me, and promises bunch of stuffs - to chat up, catch up, whatever you name it. But I never hear a word from it. There's 'C'. I wanna scream at her and say, Hey, I'm here, I'm your friend. How do you value me? Tell me what's wrong, rather than being sick and rotten in one lone self. There's of course my mother, who has promised me eons of age ago a lot of stuffs, but all of them went down the chute. There are of course, Husky. If I'm allowed to be cliche: love hurts. These things depressed me on my personal level. But I can always harness myself with optimism. It drains me everyday, but when I wake up, I drink a lot of coffee - I should be fine.
But the true sadness is with 'L', who has a life but don't know how to live it. Who has all this money and power but still is sad. Who has a Jaguar to drive, but scared to scratch it. Who has two laptops but afraid to pen her feelings because she's too insecure. Who has an apartment by herself but too afraid to ruin her funiture. Who has a lot of social gatherings, but no friends. Who has a daughter, but clueless how to be a mother. She lives next door, what should I do?
I want to run away. This is just too sad. Lately, my happiest day is when I'm under the sun, exploring the city without feeling lethargic.
I'm in love with Vancouver. Every time I pass Granville Bridge, I can't help but hold my breath. I wonder, far behind the cities, those majestic mountains, where rivers begin, those white clouds and snow capped place: there must be a whole other world. Places untouched by human hands. Where trolls and fairies live. Gollum, or maybe a gate to the middle kingdom.
I don't know how many times I said this: I don't want to grow up. I'm afraid of adulthood. It's too depressing. Not just responsibilities, but to open my eyes to the world, and see dreams failed. It requires a truckload of strength to be able to grow up as a good, solid human. Say maybe I'm in the intensive training. Last year, I remember MK said, this year is going to be a no-bollocks year. Harsh. I don't want to grow up! I'm in a marriage to life, like most people are. I accepted who I am, but I'm still getting to know my new life. Maybe that's my problem.
Let me get ready, my running shoes are wearing off. I need to get out.