These past few days, I've been spending time managing the mess: moving, registering for summer semester, registering for new college for fall, bitching about everything in sight, discovering my way to Stanley Park, discovering new virtues in volunteerism, bitching about teachers and schools and trying my best to spend my time with Husky.

I don't want to be too cheesy but I can't help it. Britney's From the Bottom of my Broken Heart fits just right. Hahaha... Oh well.

We walked a long way and there are things more genuine than just the emotion involved. Sometimes I think I'm just afraid to lose Husky. Then I'm still so young. But that's not the matter. Because I found friendship in him, and it's regardless of age. It's not infatuation that will bore you over the time. It's not fondness that will lose its interest. I trust him, and with my heart. He'll swear to take care of it.

My father keeps on brushing it off, saying puppy love.

I could've chosen an easier puppy love. I wouldn't have gone through all the troubles of being different. But hearts know no differences in material beings, and what's left is honesty. Some people takes years to find them. Some people spend their lifetime in search of it. Some people even think that it doesn't exist. Lately I've been crying like the takings of precribed medicine. Long before that, the thought of ending the relationship occured more often than people in Utah saying grace, even more often than the feedings of the shark in state's aquariums.

I was hesitant. Unlike puppy love, I didn't lose myself in it. Instead, I found me. I stop denying myself. He teaches me to accept my imperfections. Embrace my whole being, love it, because he does.

We took numerous walks lately, a few down Granville Island. Eating our way to the most delicious burger in B.C. and in my constant cravings for cupcakes. He bought me an M&Ms dispenser yesterday, and we picked up a bottle of Pinot Noir after few unsuccesful stops at wine stores, we found a 2006 Baron Philippe de Rothschild on Kingsway, I was contemplating between that and of Burgundy. But he said they were good. So we took it. He also made me a lamp made of mosaic glass.

I've asked him to write me a love letter. He gave me a live demonstration instead.

So I'm embracing myself for losing him in sight for a period of time. We knew it is for the better.

I'm just thankful because I have great friends who're supporting me through it. ...